The Magic Dragon, The Psychic Chihuahua and Me…

It’s someday and I’m somewhere on the national rail network. Assessing my fellow travelers, I’m guessing by the plethora of velour and Paul’s Boutique, I ‘might’ be near the Midlands. Today already, I’ve heard a Scouser explain ’241 deals…’

“It’s like you’re getting something half price. But you know – getting two of them.”

I’m screaming internally through these polite smiles. Screaming.

I’m currently operating from what shall today be known as ‘Train Office.’ This week, I’ve already worked from ‘Bed Office’, ‘Hotel Reception Office’ and most delightfully; ‘Bath Office.’ Admittedly, beautifully scented, a dicey option that happily didn’t end in a trip to the Apple store. Again.

Coffee

Best office so far.

For the past four months, I’ve been effectively of ‘no fixed abode.’ No, I’m not in the grips of worldwide financial panic and it’s not as terrifying as you’d imagine. In actuality, for the past four months I haven’t paid rent. Or bills. Technically, I’m way ahead of all you lot. Who needs keys, stability, slippers and their own bed? Losers and THE MAN that’s who!That noise? Oh sorry, that’s me wailing in the corner as I boil another hotel cup of tea and debate the merits of various shower caps. And assess the intricate tessellation of sneaking all of the mini-toiletries out in my suitcase. And tweet to ask if anyone would like some hotel treats. Excuse me whilst I re-pack.

So! It may surprise you to learn that I’m not actually a hobo. I choose to live the life I live and love the life I live (copyright: Bob Marley) All in the name of art.

Well Cabaret anyway. Yes, that now Gary Barlow tainted word that could conjure up all manner of smokey images, starlight and glamour.

cabaret

Credit: Mat Ricardo

For the past eight years, I’ve been self-employed as a cabaret and circus artist and travelling the world. Shows, music videos, spectacular events, carousing and trouble-making until the midnight madness takes us to the darkest depths of some backstreet gin parlour, hopefully kidney intact by morning. It’s hardly the life I expected to lead but Holy Moly Batman, I don’t think I’ll ever give it up.

Heading into Edinburgh Fringe 2011 I’d been working as a ‘showgirl freak for hire,’ with skills such as fire eating, contorting my tiny self in a jar, swinging from ropes on high, you know regular school approved career choices when I realized I was looking for more. Something that I could scratch my writing itch, my stage-techie itch and fuel my over-arching stationary addiction with.

Who knew within a few months, I’d be working on a magic show, having daily battles of hierarchy with a small levitating chihuahua, moving to London and eye-fucking CRATES of stationary in glee?

Not me, that’s who.

Mr Piffles Piff Magic Dragon

Credit: Amelie Soleil

Intrigued? You should be, because as my dear friend Kanye can tell you this ‘This shit is ridikulus.”

I’ll be telling you more over the next few weeks, sagas of magical dragons, princesses, performing at Sydney Opera House and touring until I can afford to retire, buy a castle somewhere and live happily ever after…

 

About Amelie Soleil:

Amelie Soleil jar

Amelie Soleil is the performance name of circus school graduate, writer and producer Victoria Carlin. After leaving the wilds of Northern England for the bright lights of the big city, Amelie has barely seen daylight or a day off since 2011. A constant multi-tasker, she tweets, bakes, consults and solves problems without even burning her fudge. Yes. Fudge. Calm yourself.

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2 Comments

  1. Emma Cossey (@emma_cossey)  /  October 27, 2012, 7:57 am Reply

    So excited about this column, looks like an amazing way to live life.

  2. Sarah Watkinson-Yull  /  November 8, 2012, 9:08 am Reply

    Soo exciting. And she can definitely bake- macaroons better than laduree!

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