“Too Cabaret”: A message for Gary Barlow
Have you tried to watch an episode of X Factor lately? Between the mad ramblings of the mastermind behind Jedward and countless staged, spangly storm-offs laid out for the tabloids to leech on the following morning, it’s almost as if they belong on stage. They’re larger-than-life caricatures. They almost have the makings of a cabaret show in themselves.
But cabaret is not the flavour of the televisual month over in Louis Walsh and Gary Barlow land, after dismissing acts for being “too cabaret” in recent episodes.
That’s right, I’ll let that sink in – the newest innovator of “modern music” and the founder of screeching twins who are rarely seen without fireworks shooting from their earholes think cabaret is beneath their show.
We all have our tastes… but the worst bit? Louis Walsh lumped cabaret singers in with the likes of bad taste cruise ship and pub performers during a throwaway comment last week, and ol’ G Barls is using “cabaret” as a derogatory term rather than the splendid, talented and sensational thing that it is. I know this. You know this. I hope Gary Barlow is learning this…
Thankfully, outspoken cabaret duo Frisky and Mannish have set about teaching Gary how to clean up his act and allow show folk to reclaim the term cabaret through the use of the Cabariot movement, alongside a very clever video featuring every burlesque artiste and noteworthy show person you can think of. Kiki Kaboom, Polly Rae… they’re all there.
I hasten to add that despite X Factor being anything but my personal cup of tea, Cabariot will cause no disrespect to the competition or people featured within it. They say:
“[Cabariot is] a movement to reclaim the word “cabaret” from those for whom it is synonymous with “a bit crap.” Sometimes dazzling, sometimes challenging, often both, it is diverse, vibrant, and very much alive.
We do not hate Gary Barlow. He is deserving of the highest praise for his songwriting, performing and humanitarian efforts, and he looks really really good in his waistcoats and shimmery lip gloss on the X Factor panel.
We are merely pointing out a potentially damaging linguistic development, which was brought to our attention by Gary using it on the Judges’ Houses episode of The X Factor UK, series 9.
Do not bully Gary Barlow. There’s room for everyone.
That’s the point of #Cabariot.”
You see that? A genuine argument that requires no huffs, no public bitching, no storm outs. It’s all based on wit, charm and a desire to show the masses that their profession is not to be shat on. And that they’re definitely not afraid to use the phrase “what the cock?”.
Successful cabaret quartet The Folly Mixtures: Not being boring.
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