Dealing with the wedding guest list
Do you know what one of the trickiest tasks is, when organising a wedding?
Choosing the guest list.
I figured this would be pretty easy. Just write a list of all your family and friends that you’d like to come, then work out who comes to the day and who comes to the evening. Simple, right?
Here are the main things we’ve been thinking about:
- We both have huge families. I’m not talking second and third cousins. I’m talking the basics – uncles, aunts, grandparents and cousins. I do tend to see my family several times a year, so not inviting some of them wasn’t really an option.
- Choosing which friends come to the ceremony, and which come to the evening.
- Inviting those who have invited you. If quite a few friends and family have got married before you, you might have been invited to their ceremony. There’s then an unspoken rule that you’ll need to return the favour – even if you’re no longer that close.
- +1s. Who do you give a +1 to? Everyone single? Just those with steady boyfriends/girlfriends?
- Compromises. There might be people I’d like to invite to the ceremony, that Pete wouldn’t think were necessary, and vice versa. There’s a certain amount of compromise needed.
- Costs. Y’know what? Feeding people is really expensive. The second most expensive cost in fact. When a price tag starts hanging over people’s heads, you get a bit ruthless.
At a bare minimum, our guest list is 150 for the day. When people hear that, they often roll their eyes and suggest we could have been more ruthless. The truth is, this was the number we came to AFTER we were ruthless. It’s basically family and our very closest friends. Eek!
Looking back, I possibly would have considered having a small, personal ceremony with just our very closest family (parents, siblings, grandparents) and best friends, followed by a big party in the evening. But I think most married people will tell you they’d do certain things differently. That’s pretty much a fact of life actually.
But I’m looking forward to seeing everyone I love in one place, having fun. That makes the guest list stress worth it.