Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves on holiday?

I’ve recently returned from a week long holiday to a gorgeous island – think 30 degree heat, cocktails on tap and a hot bloke lying on a sun lounger next to me. With me working, freelancing and studying and my boyfriend commuting to a very cool but stressful job, this was the first time in months we got the chance to spend more than ten minutes together.

So there I was the night before we left, packing my beach towel and suncream and suddenly my naughty drawer caught my eye. Own up, we all have one (actually, I have two) – it’s the drawer in the bedroom filled with rabbits, paddles and everything in between. I have one dedicated to varying degrees of sex toys and another for all my delicate silk lingerie, nipple tassels and stockings. Anyway, the drawer was looking at me as if to say “HOLA! You’re about to go on a hot holiday – shag fest or what?!”

Did I have room for a dozen dildos, restraint tape and lube? And, moreover, did I want to take it?

When you jet off on holiday as a couple, it’s basically expected you’ll spend half the time shagging in the sun. On the plane, on the beach, on the balcony, in bed and in the pool… it’s just expected you’ll not be able to keep your hands off each other. But sometimes it doesn’t always happen.

I fancy the pants off Mr The Sexy (those eyes, that body!) and I couldn’t wait to go to bed past 10.30pm, come onto him after a few too many drinks and see him half naked for most of the day. I couldn’t wait to dress up every night and see his face as I wore yet another low cut dress and I couldn’t wait to flirt all day because, simply, we had time to.

However, I also couldn’t wait to nap and to not be replying to twenty emails a minute and to read some chick-lit on my Kindle. And Mr The Sexy felt the same. He was looking forward to watching geeky documentaries on his iPad as he sat by the pool. He was dying to start and finish that book he’d been given as a Christmas gift and he was looking forward to catching up on weeks of sleep.

Looking around us at the plush resort where we stayed, it seemed most couples were of the same disposition. Couples snoozed together under parasols, enjoyed their respective reading or just enjoyed chatting.

The heat, the lack of clothing and knowing you’re miles away from home is incredibly sexy but the appeal of an hour nap is often the winning idea over a quick fuck.

Saying that, I had my fair share of fun with Mr The Sexy and we had more sex in a week than we’d had in three months but I hated the pressure of feeling like we ought to, feeling like the end of every night should finish with sex because we were away and wouldn’t have the time for mid-week sex back home.

There’s a lot of pressure when it comes to sex and we’re often the ones placing it on ourselves. Both females and males spend far too much time worrying if they’re having enough, worrying if they’ve slept with too little/too many people and worrying if their partner is satisfied. Whenever the kids are away for a night/it’s his birthday/you’ve both had a few too many wines, there’s an inner voice going “SEX! SEX! SEX!”

Maybe I’m getting old or maybe I’m right, I’ll let you decide, but coming back from my holiday has taught me to put less pressure on when I “ought” to be having sex and focus more on surprising him. It’s easy to get into a routine or panic if you feel you’ve not done it enough. Like most things in life – don’t sweat the small stuff and enjoy sweating when the big stuff comes along!