The trouble with hen dos
So, one of the inevitable things people ask me about when it comes to wedding planning is what I’m doing for my hen do. Will I spend an exciting weekend in London, go for a week away with the girls or go crazy in Brighton?
Probably not. I hate clubbing at the best of times. Add a penis hat and a game of “Have You Ever” and you’ve created my own personal hell. Why give people an (extra) excuse to call me a d*ckhead?
OK, so that might sound a bit extreme, but the new wave of hen dos leave me feeling a little cold. My favourite hen do so far was with my oldest friend. We did afternoon tea, a meal out, cocktails then back to hers for chick flicks and popcorn. Her wedding was one of my favourites too – sweet, romantic and simple.
For me, it comes down to this. Getting married might be exciting to me and my nearest and dearest. But do they really want to spend £200+ on a weekend of enforced fun to celebrate the fact that my other half liked it and put a ring on it?
Honestly, probably not. And I’m ok with that.
This year, I’m going to four hen dos. As a result, I’m not going on holiday as I just can’t afford it. I’m sure I’m not the only one – most of my friends and family either have big mortgages, children or shaky job situations. And yet the prices of hen dos keep rising.
In all honesty, the bride is often ignorant to what’s happening and how much is being spent. It’s often the chief organiser that has great intentions, but no real understanding of how not everyone has an endless supply of spending money.
I also can’t help thinking that hen dos have got bigger and bigger over the years, and seem to now be a huge event to demonstrate just how much people like the bride-to-be. There’s a smidgen of emotional blackmail in there – if you don’t celebrate in a big way, you’re a ‘bad friend’, regardless of your own circumstances.
Oh, and if you’re single? It’s even more of a kick in the teeth. Hurrah, let’s spend a month’s rent because someone else is getting hitched.
I did a little shout out on Twitter to see what people thought about hen dos. One tweeter reported that a friend was having FOUR hen dos. FOUR! Another tweeter told me about a hen do where the first part involved a small injection – Botox.
Really? The best way to celebrate someone getting married is to inject poison into your face? (Actually, ask me that again when I’m 40).
Others reported of drunken accidents, people falling out with each other and embarrassing incidents. The general consensus seems to be that the best ones most people have been on, have been at the lower end of the budget with an emphasis on catching up with friends and something a little more creative.
So, what am I doing for a hen do? I’m doing something silly, local and cheap during the day, with a crafty edge. Then having everyone back for a takeaway, some movies and some board games. Drama free. Call me boring, but that sounds like the perfect night for me. And isn’t that what your hen do is all about? Getting together with your favourite females and having a good time without beating a path into your overdraft?
Obviously, what I’m doing isn’t for everyone. Some hens might prefer a day go-karting, or relaxing on the beach. Some might love a night out in their favourite haunt with their signature cocktail to hand. Spa days or weekends are great too (Wahanda do great deals on them if you’re looking for a bargain). But try to do something that’s all about spending time with your family and friends without spending a fortune.
What do you think about hen dos? Have you heard any horror stories?