All the single ladies
Singledom is rarely seen as a good thing, it will forever be assumed that happiness comes with being in a long term, healthy relationship. The single ladies of the world seemed to appreciate their relationship status when Beyonce wrote a song about it. Even married women would raise their hands in celebration, regardless of the fact that their man did put a ring on it.
The single life, however, will always be sympathised with; something I cannot understand. Nobody will believe you when you claim that you are more than happy to be on your own, your parents and distant relatives whose names you can barely remember will forever be asking if you’re still yet to find a man and your happily settled down friends will make their best effort to set you up while your fellow singletons will encourage you to spend your weekends hunting men in bars.
I was single for a week before the questions came rolling in on a daily basis. Was I seeing anyone yet? What about whatshisname? You’re going to dinner with a man? Is it a date?
Even I found myself questioning the males in my life and I’ve always been one to know that if a relationship were to come to an end, I’d survive just fine. The influence of other peoples relentless interference gets you thinking, though. For a while I almost had myself believing that one guy in particular would do quite nicely. He would. But really, I just want to be on my own for a bit.
Those surrounding me are reluctant to believe such things, but I’m perfectly content minus a man. Singledom allows me to spend all my time on myself. I can work on building a career. I can study. I can get fitter. I can enjoy my hobbies and figure out what I want out of life. I can enjoy my own company for a while. I’m one to make the most of any situation, so I’ll be doing the same with singledom.
I don’t have the same power as Beyonce, so I won’t ask you to raise your hand and sing about your independence with me. But if you’e single, freaking enjoy it. You have all the time in the world for relationships and a wonderful one will come along, but it really is perfectly okay to be on your own. Take the time to figure out who you are and what you want, not what you and your partner want. Enjoy doing things on your own and make the most of all of that free time that is solely YOURS. While I’m not rejecting relationships should a good one come along, I’m not going to waste the current situation. I’m enjoying doing things for my own benefit and concentrating on making myself happy.
Sorry mum, but when I said that I was going to dinner with a friend, he really was just a friend.
I think some fair points are made – singletons do always seem to be being pushed into finding a relationship. But I think it’s unfair to suggest that because someone is in a relationship they are not independent or not capable of progressing their career or indulging in hobbies or exercise. Whilst time alone can be beneficial, being in a relationship does not make me a gibbering idiot who can only focus my energy on how much I love my man.
I’ve been in a relationship with my man since I was 17 and in that time I’ve grown from a bit of a wreck to a successful writer and happy little bee. I think independence isn’t about being single or not- it’s the person you are.
Although I am happily married, I completely understand what you are saying. I’ve been in a relationship with my husband for 7 years, and I’m completely fulfilled and love him to bits. He supports me in what I want to do and yes I do it!!
But. I have single friends approaching 30 who are asked what it is they do with their lives. Who are told they must be lonely, and spend all their single time willing a man to come along. Not so. Most of my single friends love their freedom, alone time and most of all fill their time with their hopes and dreams. Single people get a bad rap – that they don’t have as much to offer the world because they are too busy waiting for that relationship OR pining over babies.
It’s complete rubbish.